As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
