i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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