a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
