do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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