I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
