you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
