i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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