Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
