I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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