Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a search helicopter?!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
