We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
