Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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