Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
there is another microwave in the elevator.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
