Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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