I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
