Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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