Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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