i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
