well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize