what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize