He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
