Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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