i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
