He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
