she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
