the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
