Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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