We won't sleep together?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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