there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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