i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
