you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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