Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
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Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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