honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
