My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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