Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
