But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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