I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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