i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
