Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
