she takes plan B like it's going out of style
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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