Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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