If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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