We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
