Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
we should paint friendship bongs
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