are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
