no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
