I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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