her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
