M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
