I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
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Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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