Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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