I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
