I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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