There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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