That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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