we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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