How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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