That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
