I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
